> One day I met a sweet gentleman and fell in love. When it became
> apparent that we would marry, I made the supreme sacrifice and gave up
> beans.
>
> Some months later, on my birthday, my car broke down on the way home
> from work. Since I lived in the countryside I called my husband and told
> him that I would be late because I had to walk home. On my way, I passed
> by a small diner and the odor of baked beans was more than I could
> stand.
>
> With miles to walk, I figured that I would walk off any ill effects by
> the time I reached home, so I stopped at the diner and before I knew
> it, I had consumed three large orders of baked beans. All the way home,
> I made sure that I released all the gas.
>
> Upon my arrival, my husband seemed excited to see me and exclaimed
> delightedly:
> "Darling I have a surprise for dinner tonight." He then blindfolded
> me and led me to my chair at the dinner table.
> I took a seat and just as he was about to remove my blindfold, the
> telephone rang. He made me promise not to touch the blindfold until he
> returned and went to answer the call. The baked beans I had consumed
> were still affecting me and the pressure was becoming most unbearable,
> so while my husband was out of the room I seized the opportunity,
> shifted my weight to one leg and let one go. It was not only loud, but
it
> smelled like a fertilizer truck running over a skunk in front of a
> pulpwood mill.
>
> I took my napkin from my lap and fanned the air around me vigorously.
> Then, shifting to the other cheek, I ripped off three more. The stink
> was worse than cooked cabbage. Keeping my ears carefully tuned to the
> conversation in the other room, I went on like this for another few
> minutes. The pleasure was indescribable. When eventually the telephone
> farewells signaled the end of my freedom, I quickly fanned the air a few
> more times with my napkin, placed it on my lap and folded my hands
> back on it feeling very relieved and pleased with myself. My face must
> have been the picture of innocence when my husband returned,
> apologizing for taking so long. He asked me if I had peeked through the
> blindfold, and I assured him I had not.
>
> At this point, he removed the blindfold, and twelve dinner guests seated
> around the table chorused:
>
> "Happy Birthday!"
>
> I fainted!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
>
>
