Little Johnny Jokes

[67vertman]

Little Johnny watched, fascinated, as his mother smoothed cold cream on her face. "Why do you do that, mommy?" he asked. "To make myself beautiful,"said his mother, who then began removing the cream with a tissue. "What's the matter?" asked Little Johnny. "Giving up?"

 

 

 The math teacher saw that little Johnny wasn't paying attention in class.
She called on him and said, "Johnny! What are 2 and 4 and 28 and 44?"
Little Johnny quickly replied, "NBC, FOX, ESPN and the Cartoon Network!"

 

 

 Little Johnny's kindergarten class was on a field trip to their local
police station where they saw pictures tacked to a bulletin board of the 10
most wanted criminals. One of the youngsters pointed to a picture and asked if it really was the photo of a wanted person. "Yes," said the policeman.  "The detectives want very badly to capture him." Little Johnny asked, "Why didn't you keep him when you took his picture?"

 

 

 Little Johnny attended a horse auction with his father. He watched as his
father moved from horse to horse, running his hands up and down the horse's legs and rump, and chest. After a few minutes, Johnny asked, "Dad, why are you doing that?" His father replied, "Because when I'm buying horses, I have to make sure that they are healthy and in good shape before I buy.  Johnny, looking worried, said, "Dad, I think the UPS guy wants to buy Mom"

[Bullitt-]

  Those are good, here's my all time fav. Johnny story

 Johnny was sitting on his front porch holding a glass bottle with a liquid in it. He would turn it, look at it, open the bottle & smell it. The local church minister was passing by & saw little Johnny was intrigued by the bottle and stopped to talk.
  Preacher says "What you have in the bottle there Johnny?"
  Johnnt says "This here's turpentine, the most powerful liquid in the world I recon."
                     " Oh no Johnny, the most powerful liquid in the world is Holy Water."
                     " How ya figure that preacher"
                     " Well if you rub Holy Water on a pregnant woman's stomach she will pass a health baby."
                    " Preacher that ain't nothing, if you rub some of this here turpentine on a cats a$$ he'll pass a                           Motorcycle "                                  

[RusTy/SE]

 

[whitesatinmopar]

  Yeah, but what is even funner is watching him come to a stop........................