To the thief who stole my motorcycle helmet today.....

[shadango]

"To the thief who stole my helmet"

...a sonnet by Shadango
******

It was an older helmet....about 3 or 4 years old. Sweatsoaked liner, cracks in the vinyl on the inside chin guard.  Probably dropped a time or two.  Probably just about ready to be replaced though it looked brand new.

Not many people realize that helmets have a life span to remain safe.

Not sure why you would want it...something that someone else...a complete stranger to you.... wore on his head almost daily, soaking up my sweat and every time it was on.

Yuck.

....maybe it was the cool blue chrome and silver graphics that first attracted me to it.....

...maybe it was the special fog-resistant applique on the shield that turned you on.........

...maybe you are a down and out guy with a bike who needed a helmet to get to his next job.....

....maybe you are one from the group of teens I saw walking by the other day and thought it would be funny to steal from someone who works hard for what he has.....and will bash and then discard my helmet by the side of the road somewhere.....

....maybe you are a fellow rider who has no morals.........

What ever the reason was that you felt you should steal my helmet, I hope it brings you as much joy as it did while riding my bike.

Then, I hope one day that you are affected similarly.   You, thief, are one of the reasons this world has turned to a place of mistrust and paranoia.

Maybe it will be someone stealing YOUR helmet, your bike or maybe your wife.  That would be fitting for the likes of you.

You should be paranoid because our city isnt THAT large a city and I have never seen another helmet like mine around.  Should I see *my* helmet riding around town on one of the crotch rockets ridden by the kids these days, trust me....we will meet. 

Or perhaps we will never meet. Too bad.

Perhaps before then you will have a very bad accident while wearing it and every part of your body EXCEPT your head is mangled so that you can lie in your hospital bed and admire the shiny blue helmet that saved your live while you contemplate your future as a vegetable.

By the way, you may want to have it professionally cleaned before you wear it for the first time as I was just diagnosed as having a severe form of head lice.

Have a nice day.     

(we really need a middle finger emoticon!)

[wally426ci]

Thats Crap!! What a douche. I like the posting though, you should post it on Craigslist. 

[dutch]

no bird smiley found....  

[Sean]

Sorry to hear that they made off with your lid.  That just sucks!  Great write up though!  You should post it on CL like suggested above!!!

Sean

[Aussie Challenger]

Great odde to a scum bag, the lice bit may bit him     but you should have told him you have hepatitus as well (not really)    

[wagesofsin]

 d amn david!!!


you need a break!!!

funny ode though, well versed.

[whitesatinmopar]

  Takes all kinds of low life dosen't it.    Probably some jerk planning to hock it for a few bucks to buy some weed, got any local pawn shops?

[moparclown]

Thieves are everywhere,I feel for you.I had someone swipe an e-body pistol grip shifter off the table at a swap meet last year.I am headed out to a swap meet this weekend and I am bringing the baseball bat with me,so if the person that stole the shifter is reading this,please try again I will have a lot of nice stuff for sale.I have been practicing hitting 90 mph fastballs.

[tactransman]

(we really need a middle finger emoticon!)

HERE YA GO!

[shadango]

I forgot to mention that the helmet was locked to the bike with a cable lock.

So they didnt just lift it...they had to break or pick the lock.

What steams me is that the helmet was my favorite yet and I had gotten it on sale at a bike show.....came with a breath shield, removable liner, etc....for the price I paid, really nice helmet.  i also had installed a quick release for the strap and a pinlock anti-fog system.

The worst issue is -- I cant remember what size it was......otherwsie I could go online and order a new one today. 

I hope the "person" who swiped it craps themself in bed tonight.

[tactransman]

I hope the "person" who swiped it craps themselves in bed tonight.

[shadango]

HERE YA GO!

PERFECT!  Can we add that to the "bank" of emoticons for future use?

John, you said I need a break...

...and while I am feeling sorry for myself right now what with the wiring issues I am having and this helmet BS, I can look at it and know that there are folks right now in the world with way more terrible things happening to them.....the mining acident in WV comes to mind....prayers out to those families.

I can replace a helmet or fix a car that wont stay running.....(lthoough its a      situation, there).....its trivial when you look at that tragedy and so many others in the world even as we speak.

I STILL hope the thief craps himself though.   

[whitesatinmopar]

I STILL hope the thief craps himself though.   

  Well assuming the jerk may have taken it to actually use lets hope this be his fate. As he leaves the bar late and tippsy he become violently sick and before he can pull his bike over he pukes a quart inside his "new" helmet. Then gets his sorry dead beat azz hauled to jail for DUI.  That my friend he would certainly deserve. 

[BIGSHCLUNK]

What a bag of $h!t.... and they are all over unfortunately...