> The following is supposedly an actual question given on
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> University of Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by
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> one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it
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> with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why
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> we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.
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>
>
>
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> Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or
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> endothermic (absorbs heat)?
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>
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> Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using
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> Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is
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> compressed) or some variant.
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> One student, however, wrote the following:
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> First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in
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> time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving
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> into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think
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> that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it
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> will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.
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> As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the
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> different Religions that exist in the world today. Most of
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> these religions state that if you are not a member of their
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> religion, you will go to Hell.
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> Since there is more than one of these religions and since
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> people do not belong to more than one religion, we can
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> project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death
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> rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell
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> to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of
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> change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states
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> that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to
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> stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand
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> proportionately as souls are added.
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> This gives two possibilities:
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> 1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at
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> which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure
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> in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
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> 2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase
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> of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will
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> drop until Hell freezes over.
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> So which is it?
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> If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my
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> Freshman year that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I
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> sleep with you, and take into account the fact that I slept
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> with her last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I
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> am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over.
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> The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen
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> over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls
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> and is therefore, extinct...leaving only Heaven thereby
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> proving the existence of a divine being which explains why,
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> last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."
