Most likely 2 issues. First, if you are putting the Auto trans in to gear and the engine wants to die, then it could be the transmission torque converter that is to tight. What that means is you might have a Stall that is on the lower side of the RPM range and wanting to "lock up" before it needs to. Lots of times racers will want a tight converter, but if you have a close to stock engine you don't need as tight of a converter. For example, a stock converter may be 2,300 RPM (just grabbing a number for the example) and you might have a 1,900 RPM. What that means is your converter will basically be locked up around 1,900. If you have a higher number RPM torque converter it would allow you to put it in gear with less "pull" or drag from the trans and not bog the engine down and make it want to die. Just a thought of something to think about. Not saying that's it for sure. Also, cheap converters will have more issues with that too. Best to get a quality converter from the start. Two of the better Mopar Torque converter companies are Frank Lupo's Dynamic Converters and Turbo Action. Both will build you a converter for your exact engine. Cost I would guess for a good stock converter would be around $400 to $500.
As for the pinging (or detonation), that could be a few things. 9.5 to 1 compression is on the high side for today's fuels. Back in the day with lead and better fuels that would not be an issue. What grade fuel do you use? Have you tried running some race fuel mixed in? And how "exact" is your 9.5 to 1 compression? Did someone that knows how to cc a head do the math or is it a close guess? IMO, I like to stay around 9:1 for stock engines that mainly use pump fuel. It's on the safer side. If you have aluminum heads you can get away with 10:1 pretty easy. Also, check the timing at full advance (without the vacuum) and lets us know what it is around 3,000 RPMs.