1. Go to a second-hand store and buy a pair of men' used size 14-16 work
boots.
2. Place them on your front porch, along with several empty beer cans,
a copy of Guns & Ammo magazine and several NRA magazines.
3. Put a few giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazine.
4. Leave a note on your door that reads: Hey Bubba, Big Jim, Duke and Slim,
I went to the gun shop for more ammunition. Back in an hour.
Don't mess with the pit bulls -- they attacked the mailman this morning and
messed him up real bad. I don't think Killer took part in it but
it was hard to tell from all the blood.
PS - I locked all four of 'em in the house. Better wait outside.
