>
>> What is a Yankee?
>>
>>
>>
>> The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.
>>
>>
>>
>> What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover?
>>
>>
>>
>> The position of the dirt bag
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>>
>>
>> Why is divorce so expensive?
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>>
>>
>> Because it's worth it.
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>>
>>
>> What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over?
>>
>>
>>
>> Doughnuts
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>>
>>
>> Why is air a lot like sex?
>>
>>
>>
>> Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any.
>>
>>
>>
>> What do you call a smart blonde?
>>
>>
>>
>> A golden retriever.
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>>
>>
>> What do attorneys use for birth control?
>>
>>
>>
>> Their personalities.
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>>
>>
>> What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife?
>>
>>
>>
>> 10 years and 45 lbs
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>>
>>
>> What's the difference between a boyfriend and husband?
>>
>>
>>
>> 45 minutes
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>>
>>
>> What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
>>
>>
>>
>> Through his chest with a sharp knife.
>>
>>
>>
>> Why do men want to marry virgins?
>>
>>
>>
>> They can't stand criticism.
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>>
>>
>> Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking?
>>
>>
>>
>> Because those men already have boyfriends.
>>
>>
>>
>> What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
>>
>>
>>
>> After a year, the dog is still excited to see you
>>
>>
>>
>> What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
>>
>>
>>
>> The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.
>>
>>
>>
>> Why don't bunnies make noise when they have sex?
>>
>>
>>
>> Because they have cotton balls.
>>
>>
>>
>> What's the difference between a porcupine and BMW?
>>
>>
>>
>> A porcupine has the pricks on the outside.
>>
>>
>>
>> What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
>>
>>
>>
>> "Are you sure it's mine?"
>>
>>
>>
>> Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?
>>
>>
>>
>> Mace will do that to you.
>>
>>
>>
>> Why did OJ Simpson want to move to West Virginia ?
>>
>>
>>
>> Everyone has the same DNA.
>>
>>
>>
>> Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
>>
>>
>>
>> Breasts don't have eyes.
>>
>>
>>
>> Why do drivers' education classes in Redneck schools use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?
>>
>>
>>
>> Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it.
>>
>>
>>
>> Where does an Irish family go on vacation?
>>
>>
>>
>> A different bar.
>>
>>
>>
>> Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a blond baby?
>>
>>
>>
>> They named him "Sum Ting Wong".
>>
>>
>>
>> What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?
>>
>>
>>
>> A speech impediment.
>>
>>
>>
>> What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying at half-mast?
>>
>>
>>
>> They're hiring.
>>
>>
>>
>> What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?
>>
>>
>>
>> A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage along with... "a recipe".
>>
>>
>>
>> How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word?
>>
>>
>>
>> Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!
>>
>>
>>
>> What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale?
>>
>>
>>
>> A northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time ..." -A southern fairytale begins
>>
>>
>>
>> "Y'all ain't gonna believe this ****....
>>
>>
>>
>> Why is there no Disneyland in China?
>>
>>
>>
>> No one's tall enough to go on the good rides
