Author Topic: Wall mart doctor  (Read 1012 times)

Offline KellysCuda aircard

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Wall mart doctor
« on: October 21, 2006 - 09:03:39 AM »
Walmart is taking over

One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Joe says to Mike behind him,
"My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I'd better see a doctor."

"Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money," Mike replies.

"There's a diagnostic computer down at Wal-Mart. Just give it a urine
sample and the computer will tell you what's wrong and what to do about
it.

It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars . . . A lot cheaper than a
doctor."

So, Joe deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to
Wal-Mart.

He deposits ten dollars, and the computer lights up and asks for the
urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits.

Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout:

"You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy
activity. It will improve in two weeks. Thank you for shopping @
Wal-Mart."

That evening, while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Joe
began wondering if the computer could be fooled.

He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples
from his wife and daughter, and a sperm sample for good measure.

Joe hurries back to Wal-Mart, eager to check the results He deposits
ten dollars, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results.

The computer prints the following:

1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. (Aisle 9)
2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo. (Aisle 7)
3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
4. Your wife is  pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.
5. If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get
better!




Offline 71bigblock

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Re: Wall mart doctor
« Reply #1 on: October 23, 2006 - 08:48:10 AM »
 :smilielol: :roflsmiley:

Offline Street_Challenged73

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Re: Wall mart doctor
« Reply #2 on: October 23, 2006 - 11:05:43 PM »
 :smilielol: :smilielol: :smilielol: :smilielol:  That's funny!!! :clapping: :smilielol:
1973 Dodge Challenger......................The ongoing project. (00/----\00)
1991 Dodge Stealth R/T Twin-Turbo....The sunny day cruiser (RTBoost)
1990 Toyota Celica GT Liftback...........The new daily & winter driver.
All-American Muscle: 'Cudas and Challengers...Still the Elite and always will be.

                                                                                             
                 
Street_Challenged73 from Wisconsin

Offline Super Blue 72

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Re: Wall mart doctor
« Reply #3 on: October 24, 2006 - 08:43:21 AM »
 :cheers:  :smilielol:  :roflsmiley:
1972 Dodge Challenger Rallye 340, AT, Code TB3=Super Blue, SBD=8/17/1971.  Yes, a Rallye without the fender louvers from the factory because of the body side molding option.

Pic #2 and 3 of my ARII 1/24 scale model car 

Phil in New England-Massachusetts  Always thank God for what you have!

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Offline Challenger6pak

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Re: Wall mart doctor
« Reply #4 on: October 24, 2006 - 08:59:07 AM »
Very good.   :bigsmile:
1969 Sport Satellite H code convertible, 1970 Cuda 440+6, 1970 Challenger R/T 440+6, 1970 Challenger 383 R/T auto, 1970 Challenger R/T 383 4 speed,1971 Challenger convertible.

Offline Total BS

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Re: Wall mart doctor
« Reply #5 on: October 24, 2006 - 10:44:22 PM »
I like that one.. :roflsmiley:
1971 'Cuda 383
1970 Chevelle SS LS6
1999 Durango
-New Joisey-

Offline DodgeFreak

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Re: Wall mart doctor
« Reply #6 on: October 25, 2006 - 02:07:56 PM »
Dang....how'd the computer know the twins were mine...lol i liked that one...
74 Plymouth Duster- restoring

77 Dodge D150 shortbox- as long as i don't change my mind will be a step side dually diesel or a 383 powered truck

04 durango 4.7

Offline Tropicalcats

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Re: Wall mart doctor
« Reply #7 on: October 25, 2006 - 03:29:23 PM »
Best laugh I've had all week.
  :bananasmi :smilielol:
1970 Challenger R/T 383  Matching#s JS23N0E under construction. It's Plum Crazy
SOLD