Lol - this is gonna be fun. April if you're not laughin' your A$$ off by the time you're done reading this I'm gonna be ticked!!
Everyone break out the
now, 'cause this is worth the read...
So I'm from Harrisburg, 20 minutes from Carlisle - thus my new nickname, "20 Minutes." I've never been to a car show WITH a car before - always just went and looked. So when I decided way back when that I was going to Carlisle, I prepared to go as all-out as my limited budget would allow. So I got a sweet new folding lounge chair (quite a hit at the show, as some of you may recall,) a big cooler, filled with a large variety of sodas, beer, water, and sweet tea. Had my book bag with reading materials (remember my post about how I thought I might be bored? Yeah - had no time for that!) and of course my camera, cell phone, the works...
On Friday, I arrive nervously but confidently at the show grounds and rumble right in, pick a spot in the E-Body's and parked. It took only a few minutes to realize that just by luck I had parked RIGHT in front of our tent. Perfect! So I carried over my chair, rolled over my cooler, and set up my bookbag - kinda made up my own little spot. Know what I mean? Met MEK, met Dave, possibly Top-Cat, and I think WSM was there too. No sooner than I get set up and comfy that this bright pink 'Cuda comes pullin' in, and parks at the corner of the tent. Sweet car, even if it was pink. These two folks get out who apparently know the people already there, and they start chatting. But I hurry to make introductions because hey, I wanna fit in! I meet Joe and April. Thick New Yorker accents, ample cigarette supply... ...cheap Wal-Mart folding chairs... ...but all-in-all good folk!
Hahah, okay. So these guys get these little chairs set up that they had just bought from the Wal-Mart over in Mechanicsburg (note - I'm there about once a week!) As April sets up her chair directly on my left, I make casual conversation - where she's from, that I'm the guy who's only 20 minutes away, etc etc etc...
Then all hell breaks loose.
See, I decide to lean over the left arm rest on my chair, with the innocent intent of getting the Schedule of Events from my bookbag. I'm suddenly distracted when I realize that this crazy New York chick is laying sideways in her chair, rolling towards me, flailing her legs wildly and rubbin' her a$$!!
I'm like "WOAH! Didn't we just meet?!?! I barely even know you!!"
So this chick's like, dry-humping the air right in my face, and I'm just givin' her this look as if I had just seen a group of blind juggling midgets, when suddenly she looks at me and is like "oh sh!t - lemme explain!" Well it turns out Ms. Einstein had just attempted (note: attempted) to knock the ash off the tip of her freshly lit (and I think already 3rd) cigarette when the head of said cigarette fell off and of course, promptly rolled right under her butt. They've had these chairs less than 30 minutes, hers already has a burn mark in it. We would proceed to joke about this for the next 40-or-so hours.
Now, this could be called the "April sets her a$$ on fire" story, or the "Breakin' in the new guy" story, or just the "I drove 20 minutes for THIS" story... But really either way you look at it...
...it was pretty freakin' funny.
And rather "Gummo," if I do say so myself.
Jeff
"20 Minutes"
