Chryco,
that is exactly what the doctor said. Wait.... are you my wifes gyno doctor? 
Well, he does wear a lot of hats around here...
I know a family very closely who lost a young daughter at around 11 years old. Seeing what it did to them, I can't imagine the feeling of being so close to a newborn child and having that happen. It's unbelievable.
I think the MOST important thing you can do is to work out the grief - cry if you have to, and convince your wife to let it out and let it go. A lot of people go a little crazy after this kind of thing happens - become very overprotective of their surviving children, which only does harm in the end. The more you shelter a child the more likely they are to turn to things like drugs, alcohol, and the like. You have to remember that life, simply put, happens. You can't control it, you can't protect anyone from it. Be strong, be positive, and move on.
I'm not really much of a religious man anymore - got a little too far-fetched for me, but one thing that I learned in my Christian days was "this too shall pass."
This too, friend, shall pass.
Jeff
