It really cracks me up that shops have trouble adjusting the alignment on these cars. They're easier than just about anything out there! The only wild card is that the settings change with the ride height, but once you've figured that out, the rest is just camber bolts. Now maybe you can't get the specs you want because you don't have enough adjustment, but that's usually a sign of another problem.
Here's what I would do-
Jack the car up and take the tension off the torsion bar adjusters. Count how many revolutions you make on each side before the adjusters hang loose. Then, adjust the upper control arms. Loosen up the camber bolts and rotate the front camber bolts as far toward the outside of the car as they will go. Rotate the rear camber bolts as far to the inside of the car as they will go. If they won't turn smoothly even once they're loosened up, smear some grease on the backs of the eccentrics, helps a ton. Then, put tension back on the torsion bars. Whatever you counted on the way out, put about 2/3 that many revolutions back in. Once its on the ground, if its not too low, drive it around the block to settle the suspension and see where you're really at. Bouncing on the bumper isn't usually enough to really settle the suspension in. Measure from flat ground (concrete is best) to the top of the wheel well and check the height side to side. Not the most accurate way to do it, but it'll get you close. Jack the car up and make any adjustments to the torsion bar adjusters that you need, remember to drive it around the block to settle the suspension each time you make a change.
When you're happy with the ride height, park it with the wheels straight ahead, walk back 15 feet and see how the tires look. Hopefully, they're pretty close to vertical. You can even check that with a carpenter's level! Just put it up against the tire and keep it in line with the hub. If the tires are tipped too far in, rotate that rear camber bolt out a little. If they're too far out (like they are now) put the front camber bolt in a little more. You don't have to take the tension off the torsion bars with the adjusters to adjust the camber bolts, it does make it a little easier though.
Then adjust the toe using a tape measure as described above.
That setting on the UCA's will maximize your caster setting. Setting the wheels up so that they're vertical should give you 0 camber. Then drive it to an alignment shop and have it checked. With the ride height set, all they should have to do is adjust the camber bolts and tie rods. And it should be WAY closer than it is already.
