Like so many others, I just found this tread. I am so saddened by this news and am praying for your family.
I also believe I can add a glimmer of hope into this situation. I have been in the situation before and have experienced it first hand. Not from a parenting perspective, but from Owen's point of view.
In 1992 I was just 8 years old and diagnosed with a very aggressive cancer of the spine. I was admitted as a patient at st. Jude's children's hospital in Memphis, TN. It was a 3 year battle with countless surgeries, chemo treatments and radiation sessions. I had so much radiation that my skin had severe burns all over the treatment area. I couldn't even wear clothes or even have sheets covering me in bed because the slightest contact was unbearable.
We were told all of the same things you have been told. "Stunted growth, slow mental development, poor social skills, long term health issues, yadda yadda." My parents were continuously told these things and feared the outcome. I had to learn how to walk 3 times over again from being so bedridden and my muscles atrifying.
So here is what actually happened to me, the tail end of this story, 20 years later.
When I returned to school in the 4th grade, I knocked out a 4.0 gpa and made the honor roll every period. I had friends, "girlfriends" and close relationships with many people. It was hard making it through the teenage years for sure, because of all the scars and insecurities that come along in those years, but I pushed on.
In high school I took all honors classes and earned college credit, I also joined the ROTC and was the leader of my platoon.
I went to college and worked full time as a mechanic and waiter to pay my tuition. I graduated with a degree in mechanical engineering and now work for a large chemical company.
I also married my college sweetheart and have a great life full of family, love and eBodys lol.
This was all possible through prayer and love. I am positive.
The reason I love Barracudas? Late at night, in my hospital bed, my mom would preoccupy my time with stories. They would keep my mind of the pain and hardships. Most of these stories centered around adventures she had in her 1974 Barracuda. I was a car nut even at that age and it worked.
Moral of the story, pray for him, talk with him, comfort him and treat him as though he is completely healthy. Your love and confidence will conquer all.
God bless.
